WTF: Kimora Lee Simmons

So this morning, I felt pretty good so I decided to have a normal breakfast. Bad idea, because now whenever I try to get upright, my stomach hurts and my head is pounding. So I'm couchbound, watching terrible reruns of various reality TV shows. Which brings me to the purpose of this post.

WTF is with Kimora Lee Simmons?? I was just watching a rerun of her show, and I don't understand in what world she is supposed to be a relatable and admirable person. Why am I supposed to like her again? Aside from the fact that she has two gorgeous kids, she doesn't seem to offer anything that makes me like her as a person at all. Here's what I've got.

• Her neck. Seriously, WHAT IS WITH HER NECK??? Every time I look at her, all I can see is her gigantic band of neck fat. I mean what's with that? Isn't she rich enough via her ex-husband to get that surgically taken care of? It is horrible, and it is also the reason that I now extend all of my daily facial care rituals to my neck region.
• She is just an utter and completely unreasonable bitch to everyone around her. In today's episode, she demanded that her assistant find a way to MAKE IT NOT RAIN during a commercial shoot. Really? Because Mother Nature gives a shit about your perfume ad? I've also seen episodes where she has berated her employees for their taste in shoes...and I'm guessing that she doesn't pay them enough to do anything about it. There is not enough money in the world that would convince me to work for this woman.
• Her coining of the word "fabulousity." It's not a word, and you are not fabulous. You used to be a runway model and then by the grace of god, Russel Simmons married you. If it weren't for him, you'd likely be living in public housing right now, because you're uneducated and no one would hire you as a model with all of that neck fat. If merely being able to snag a rich husband and popping out a few kids so that he has to pay you child support forever makes your fabulous, I guess you win? No.

Ok I think I'm done with my rant now. I would rather watch two hours of the Kardashians (which I did immediately after watching the Kimora shit-fest) than watch this show ever again. At least the Kardashians are funny. Khloe cracks me up. It must be hard to be the only normal person in your crazy ass family.

That's all I guess. I need to take about 15 advil now, because I really need to be upright long enough to get to the grocery store today. All I have in the house right now is beer. Which is not going to help the head and stomach situation. And Blake's away at Funboy Weekend until Monday night. Boo.